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Don't Look, Now...
Wynlette's in the Hideyhole
....I've found another pony that's available that I want.

Of-*CENSORED*-course, it's from a girl in England, and that means it'll be DOUBLE the listed price, in USD... So, I've e-mailed her, asking her about a payment plan.

A Valentine's Custom

Love Me Tender by Laura of LoveLauraLand.com

-le sigh-

UPDATE: Laura's said she'll accept a payment plan and will put Love Me Tender on hold for me!! :D (It'll be two installments of $41, I think. Guh.) Anyways, yay!

On to the things I love most about Love Me Tender: first off, her 'cutie mark' is AMAZING. When I start doing customs, I really hope to create awesome, original cutie marks like that! Second, her eyes! OMG, the detail! They look like REAL irises, with strips of colors! ALSO, they're mauve! EE! Third, her hat! OMG, the hat! SO cute! (I want to ask her where she got it!)

Worries I have: her hair. Crap. I mean, it's beautiful, yes, all done up in those fat ringlets... BUT, I'm gonna have a devil of a time keeping it that way. Also, how will they be kept so neat during the shipping process?

Only problem: I don't really care for 'colored' ponies. I like white ponies, (or, extremely pale colored ponies,) because it really sets off everything else about them. BUT, I -do- like pink. I've also found a few 'colored' ponies I like, but not many. However, she's an awesome custom and I won't let the fact that she's pink-bodied bother me!

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Hideyhole position: Work
Wynlette feels: cranky cranky

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I had a deep and abiding love for the Little Apple Dolls, as soon as they were brought to my attention (which was during the second series, I believe.) However, being who I am and all, I've never been able to get one. It'd be -really- hard for me to choose, anyway, between my favorites. I thought about them, the other day, and decided to check in on them. There are many new ones and it only whets my appetite for them. This is like window shopping, folks. Why people actually like to window shop is fricking beyond me. It sucks to see things you really, really want...and can't have. It's like being just out of reach of the cookie jar. (And, everyone else can reach it, grab one and gobble it down right in front of you.)

So, though I can't have any, I thought I'd put up the ones I'd get if I -could- have them. (And, in case any of you want them, I've linked to an auction or page that's offering them. Of course, if you come along weeks later, these links and pictures may not work. :P)

This is kind of an homage, as well. I love these dolls and they deserve more exposure. Before the pictures, I've copied some text from the website, to let you read a little about their history and how they came to be. Enjoy. :)

Little Apple Dolls
(Excerpt from the website, linked above.)
The Little Apple first came to life in photographic works artist Ufuoma Urie had created that explored myths to do with creation and destruction. The symbol of the wounded, "pin-cushion" apple as an inanimate object who is capable of showing emotion as hero/saviour/sacrifice began to feature prominently in narratives the artist had written. As a symbol in myth, fairytale and religious texts, the apple has represented temptation: an alluring yet tainted object not appearing as it seems: that which is desired which ultimately unsettles those who come into contact with it.

The apple developed a persona in its own right, acting as protector of souls and guardian to the children or rather the hand-crafted child sized dolls. The dolls are a visual combination of foetus/toddler and skeleton. Their faces are not fully formed. They are without key facial features which may render them monstrous yet they are creatures of beauty. They look the way they do because they inhabit the place in between life and death. They are meant to represent a border: they are not dead but they certainly are not alive! One would imagine that each doll character has had a similar experience to the Little Girl in the story and has ended up in between places.

Series One

Umbrae, Sine and Circe

Circe. Arguably my favorite from the first series. I like Sine and Umbrae alright, but Circe is definitely my favorite of the three. (The first series, in their big size (of 14") are sold out! I can't find anywhere that sells a set of the normal-sized ones. :/ Well, not that it matters. Not like I could afford them! -grin-)

Series Two

Animula, Erro, Irae and Mentis
OMG! I love the second series! Maybe not as much as the first, but it's pretty darned close!

This is Animula! She's one of my favorites, because of her outfit. She comes with the full set of the second series dolls, but this is a close-up picture of her!

Series Four

Lethe, Timor Balatro, Sine of Souls and Elysia

Of the Series Four dolls, my favorites are:



Timor Balatro

Of course, these are less common, because they're exclusives or special editions. :/ But, I want them, anyway!

Mirari's so pretty in her blue dress and poms on the tops of her shoes.

I love little Ianua. (I imagine it's pronounced 'eeah-nooah.') She looks so shy and quiet.

And, Melorian! Have you seen this, yet? :D

VooDooz (Series 1) Uchawi Plush -- It's kinda cute! :D Not too expensive. I might just get one for myself, sometime! :D

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Hideyhole position: Work
Wynlette feels: cold chillyfingers!
The mobile is playing: Frankie Avalon .. Venus

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OMG! Lookit this!!

I originally learned about Saxton Freymann's art on this page.

Weird, huh? :D


(Holy heart palpitations!)

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Hideyhole position: \: Work :/
Wynlette feels: sleepy sleepy
The mobile is playing: Three Dog Night .. Joy to the World

Whisper Words
Hi, Secret! On a topic of one of my tribes on Tribe.net, a little posted links to some backpacks she found on Froogle! This prompted me to do a search of my own, for backpacks I liked! (She likes Tinkerbell, which makes me wrinkle my nose. Bleh!) Here are the results I found!

From Toys 'R' Us, it's completely adorable and affordable, too!

From a store called Toys Plus, USA--a place I'd never heard of, before--this backpack is ALSO awesome and affordable! :D (I think I like the one from Toys 'R' Us better, though! (I wish we had a Toys 'R' Us, dammit!))

And, now, from DreamKitty.com, the place that charges up to $80 for a plain ol' backpack, here are some items I found cute/interesting/etc!

Oh, this is probably the cutest waterbottle, ever!

OMG! A Hello Kitty sippy cup! XD

:O I want some! :D

Holy christ, that's an expensive cellphone! Though, if I were gonna have a cellphone, this is the one that I'd find absolutely perfect! (If I could afford one, anyway!)

In the same OMG,ITCOSTSHOWMUCH??? realm, we've got the Hello Kitty iPod Nano! I know DreamKitty.com charges out the wazoo for stuff, but holy hell.

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Hideyhole position: Work
Wynlette feels: listless listless
The mobile is playing: The Decemberists .. A Cautionary Song

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Oh, Secret... I'm not even sure I know exactly how it happened! I think it started out with me looking at ear muffs, 'cause this morning was so cold and I don't have any. Then, I saw some... Hello Kitty ear muffs! So, somehow, I did a search for 'Sanrio' on eBay and there were SIXTY-FOUR pages. And, I looked at every single one of them. SIXTY-FOUR.

I found some -really- cute things. Ridiculous things. Ridiculously cute things. So, here are a few of them. :) Enjoy.


(I miss Daddy, darnitall!)

Wynlette feels: listless listless
The mobile is playing: The Decemberists .. Grace Cathedral Hill

Whisper Words


I found SO MANY at CuteOverload.com---one of my favorite websites---that I just had to put them all behind a cut!

So, click!Collapse )

WHEW! I feel better! Don't you, Secret!? :D


Did you draw this, Daddy? O_O;

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Hideyhole position: Work
Wynlette feels: chipper chipper
The mobile is playing: ): Nothing :(

Whisper Words
Hi, Secret! So, I've got spectacular news... And, not-so-good news. First, I'll give you the not-so-good news. That way, the spectacular news might make up for the not-so-good!

Here goes....

I'm worried. (What a surprise; right?) All I do is worry. Well.... It's Daddy. I'm afraid I might've upset him or crowded him, somehow. I don't know. These are probably stupid things to even think about. It's just that I have...such an active, wicked imagination. And, when I have lots of time to think about things, my imagination thinks up awful things.

It's been about a week since we last talked on the phone. And, his response e-mails have been very sporadic. Now, I learned that he was out of town, for business, for the weekend. But, in his e-mail, he didn't say anything about staying there any longer. Also, in that same e-mail, I learned that he misunderstood something I wrote in a previous e-mail to him. I'd stated the fact that I was scared that he'd think I was ignoring him, if he couldn't get my e-mails while he was away.

He thought I was complaining, claiming he was ignoring me. :( Maybe this made him angry. I don't know! I've tried to clear up the matter in the last couple of e-mails I've sent him, but I have no idea if he's even read them. I haven't gotten any replies, anyway.

Then, there's the fact that it might seem as if I haven't tried to call him, like I usually do... Our long-distance is off until early next week due to a snafu with the stupid phone company. So, I can't call him. (Though, I'm thinking of trying to call him from work. Especially since we've got free long-distance for a while.) Maybe he think I haven't called because I'm upset with him or something!

Next, there's the horrible version where he's just grown tired of me, entirely. Bad imagination. :( This version has me wondering if this is his way of breaking things off with me.

Then, there's the angle of Daddy getting sick/hurt/worse. This one scares the dickens out of me. If he DOES get hurt or sick or worse, there'll be no one to call and tell me. Tears are stinging my eyes just thinking about that. It'll be just like he dropped off the face of the earth and the idea makes me feel sick. God, I hope he's ok.

...There are more. My imagination hates me. I can't get these awful thoughts out of my head! I keep praying to get an e-mail from him, at least, so I'll have that reassurance--just from his presence. Of course, a call would be best. Then, I could blubber into his ear.

I think this is all blown out of proportion because I miss him so much. And, am scared to death of the idea of not having him, of losing him.

(I'm afraid of what'll happen if he hears this stuff, Secret. He might think I'm crazy... Or, not worth the trouble. Y'know? So, keep it under your hat.)

~~oo** OOOOH! **oo~~

And, now... for the spectacular news! A princess came to live with me! Yes, that's right. I said princess! She's a present from Daddy. Someone for me to cuddle, hug, squeeze and love...and think of him. She's absolutely perfect. The best stuffed animal that I've ever gotten, probably. (No disrespect, Mr. Brown!)

Please, meet....
Principessa 'Precious' Picabo Paloma Narcolepsia Miette Padgett Gregory
(Precious, for short. ;D)

(She's a (22") Sleepyhead Bunny from the North American Bear Co.)
Principessa: (n) Italian for 'princess.'
(pronunciation .. prin-chee-PAY-sah)

She's so perfect! You can hold her in your arms and her little head is tilted just so that she looks exactly like she's sleeping as you hold her--it looks completely natural and warms your heart. She's quite big, so it's not uncomfortable for me to try to hold onto her. She's very soft, both in squeeze and rub textures. And, I'm absolutely in love.

Last night, I went to sleep with her...and woke up with her! I never threw her off of me or knocked her off of the bed! This is significant, because I'm kind of a restless sleeper. That should tell you how much I love that bunny! Also, I was very sad to leave her, this morning. Since opening the box from Daddy and pulling her out...I hadn't really let go of her for more than a few minutes at a time. So, it was very difficult for me to do that, this morning. As it is, I can't wait to get home to her!

-little sigh-

Tags: , ,
Hideyhole position: Work
Wynlette feels: anxious anxious
The mobile is playing: Frou Frou .. Let Go

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You know, Secret... I was going to make this a sort of story. I was going to show you the pictures that Robin sent me and tell a little story to go along with them, where Opal was talking about herself in the pictures....

But, I'm not in the mood, anymore. It doesn't take much to change my mood, I guess. -sigh-

So, here are the updates on Opal: Robin made her a new set of wings, but she's still selling her to me at a slight discount. She's even including a free copy of her wing tutorial (though, not the same type of wings that Opal has.) I'm getting Opal, the Customizer's Bible and the Wing tutorial book for $50. Really, not bad. (This had me in a good mood.) So, here are the pictures.Collapse )

As you can see, she looks much better. (Robin even added glitter to her wings, this time.)

However, it's dawned on me that I'm so very poor. I hate being poor. My family--while not poor, strictly--is shit at managing their finances, so they might as well be poor. I can't seem to get ahead. I'm always behind, always late, always in debt. Up to my eyeballs. And, this being the case, I really shouldn't spend the money for Opal, but I so very rarely spend any money on something nice for myself...I feel that I deserve it. A little.

Speaking of my parents, I'm angry and hurt. It happens once or twice a year. I manage to forget it, most other times. So, my little sister has always gotten every little thing she's ever wanted. She got a car before me. (She actually drives. Mom didn't fuck up with her like she did with me.) She got a laptop from them. A palm pilot. An iPod. A digital camera. (This is accumulated stuff. Not just from this Christmas.)

What have I gotten? A quilt, some shams and some blankets. (This Christmas' presents.) Oh. And, one of my 'presents' for Christmas was a doll that I won't even get until after Mom passes. Yeah. I'm not a doll collector. I'd much rather have the digital camera Mom promised me. But, since I'm not there, I don't GET one. She doesn't have to look at me, so she can ignore whatever guilt she might feel... Or, drown it out with all the goddamned dolls she buys on fucking eBay.

I asked her, this year.

I said, "Mama, you're gonna get me the digital camera; right?"
"Oh, yes, baby. I promise."
"You promise?"
"Yes, yes, I promise. It's just that Dad and I have to come up with a payment for blahblahblah, first."
"...Oh. Ok. I understand, Mama."
"But, I promise I'll get you a digital camera."
"Ok, Mama."

But, you know what, Secret? She won't. She'll forget all about it.

Or, if she does actually take any actions on getting one... She'll have Dad look at his 'insider' websites, trying to find a really 'good deal.' (Which means, buy Wyn the cheapest fucking camera possible.) And, if they even got one, it'd be like all the OTHER stuff they've gotten me. It'll be missing a part, or won't work right out of the box. Or, it'll be fucking impossible to use, because it comes with no instruction manual. Or, it'll die two weeks after I get it.

Yeah. Dad and his 'deals.' Mom and her dolls. Hillary and her getting-everything-she-wants.

Wyn and her debt.

I'm so tired of feeling jealous. Why can't I be like those poor people who never actually want anything? Why can't I be a good person like that? Why can't I just be grateful that I have a loving family?

---And, the thing that triggered this lovely downswing into black despair? Well, the pictures that Robin took of Opal were so nice. I asked her what kind of camera she used, because I was hoping to get one, soon. I did some looking on eBay and found one of a similar model that wasn't as expensive as hers. (Click here to go to good ol' eBay and take a peek.) But, of course, I can't afford it. I can't afford anything. -sigh- I'm so tired of not being able to buy things. I'm sick of never having anything nice or new.

I hate this.

I sincerely hope life gets easier than this.

Tags: , , ,
Hideyhole position: Wallowing in Self-Pity
Wynlette feels: depressed depressed
The mobile is playing: Grace Cathedral Hill .. The Decemberists

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