I'm worried. (What a surprise; right?) All I do is worry. Well.... It's Daddy. I'm afraid I might've upset him or crowded him, somehow. I don't know. These are probably stupid things to even think about. It's just that I have...such an active, wicked imagination. And, when I have lots of time to think about things, my imagination thinks up awful things.
It's been about a week since we last talked on the phone. And, his response e-mails have been very sporadic. Now, I learned that he was out of town, for business, for the weekend. But, in his e-mail, he didn't say anything about staying there any longer. Also, in that same e-mail, I learned that he misunderstood something I wrote in a previous e-mail to him. I'd stated the fact that I was scared that he'd think I was ignoring him, if he couldn't get my e-mails while he was away.
He thought I was complaining, claiming he was ignoring me. :( Maybe this made him angry. I don't know! I've tried to clear up the matter in the last couple of e-mails I've sent him, but I have no idea if he's even read them. I haven't gotten any replies, anyway.
Then, there's the fact that it might seem as if I haven't tried to call him, like I usually do... Our long-distance is off until early next week due to a snafu with the stupid phone company. So, I can't call him. (Though, I'm thinking of trying to call him from work. Especially since we've got free long-distance for a while.) Maybe he think I haven't called because I'm upset with him or something!
Next, there's the horrible version where he's just grown tired of me, entirely. Bad imagination. :( This version has me wondering if this is his way of breaking things off with me.
Then, there's the angle of Daddy getting sick/hurt/worse. This one scares the dickens out of me. If he DOES get hurt or sick or worse, there'll be no one to call and tell me. Tears are stinging my eyes just thinking about that. It'll be just like he dropped off the face of the earth and the idea makes me feel sick. God, I hope he's ok.
...There are more. My imagination hates me. I can't get these awful thoughts out of my head! I keep praying to get an e-mail from him, at least, so I'll have that reassurance--just from his presence. Of course, a call would be best. Then, I could blubber into his ear.
I think this is all blown out of proportion because I miss him so much. And, am scared to death of the idea of not having him, of losing him.
(I'm afraid of what'll happen if he hears this stuff, Secret. He might think I'm crazy... Or, not worth the trouble. Y'know? So, keep it under your hat.)
And, now... for the spectacular news! A princess came to live with me! Yes, that's right. I said princess! She's a present from Daddy. Someone for me to cuddle, hug, squeeze and love...and think of him. She's absolutely perfect. The best stuffed animal that I've ever gotten, probably. (No disrespect, Mr. Brown!)
(Precious, for short. ;D)
(She's a (22") Sleepyhead Bunny from the North American Bear Co.)
Principessa: (n) Italian for 'princess.'
(pronunciation .. prin-chee-PAY-sah)
She's so perfect! You can hold her in your arms and her little head is tilted just so that she looks exactly like she's sleeping as you hold her--it looks completely natural and warms your heart. She's quite big, so it's not uncomfortable for me to try to hold onto her. She's very soft, both in squeeze and rub textures. And, I'm absolutely in love.
Last night, I went to sleep with her...and woke up with her! I never threw her off of me or knocked her off of the bed! This is significant, because I'm kind of a restless sleeper. That should tell you how much I love that bunny! Also, I was very sad to leave her, this morning. Since opening the box from Daddy and pulling her out...I hadn't really let go of her for more than a few minutes at a time. So, it was very difficult for me to do that, this morning. As it is, I can't wait to get home to her!